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Getting preapproved for a mortgage can be exciting.
Suddenly, there’s a number attached to something you’ve probably been thinking about for a long time.
But there’s an important question I encourage buyers to ask before we start searching:
Just because you can qualify for a certain amount, will you be comfortable living with it?
Those aren’t always the same number. A lender can help you understand what you may qualify to borrow. That’s an important part of preparing to buy. But only you know what you want the rest of your life to look like once the mortgage payment is made. And that’s worth talking about before you fall in love with a house.
Start With the Payment, Not Just the Purchase Price
It’s easy to shop by price. Homes are listed at $300,000, $350,000, $400,000 and so on, so naturally that’s how buyers begin comparing them.
But you won’t be writing a check for the purchase price every month.
You’ll be living with the monthly cost of owning the home.
Depending on your financing and the property, that can include principal and interest, property taxes, homeowners insurance, and possibly homeowners association fees or other expenses.
Your lender can help you understand how those pieces come together for a particular financing scenario.
The important thing is not to assume two homes with similar prices will necessarily create identical monthly expenses.
Leave Room for the Life Outside Your House
This is the part of affordability I think deserves more attention.
What do you enjoy doing?
Do you travel?
Eat out?
Have children involved in sports or activities?
Want to continue building your savings?
Love spending weekends fishing?
Have pets?
Help family members?
Are there things you’ve worked hard to make part of your life that you don’t want homeownership to push aside?
A house can check every box on your wish list and still be the wrong fit if paying for it makes everything else feel tight.
I want you to enjoy your home.
I also want you to enjoy your life.
Those two goals should work together.
Don’t Forget the Costs That Come After Closing
Homeownership also means becoming responsible for things you may never have had to think about as a renter.
The air conditioner eventually needs attention.
An appliance stops working.
The yard needs maintaining.
Something needs painting.
None of this means buying a home should feel scary. It simply means your budget should leave some breathing room for the reality of owning one.
That’s another reason I prefer talking about comfortable affordability rather than simply the maximum purchase price. Having some margin can make an unexpected repair an inconvenience rather than a crisis.
Your Comfort Number Is Personal
There isn’t one percentage or formula that can tell every buyer what should feel comfortable.
Two households earning the same income can have very different lives.
One may have childcare expenses.
Another may have student loans.
One may prioritize travel.
Another may be saving aggressively for retirement.
Someone else may be comfortable putting more of their monthly budget toward a home because that’s where they spend most of their time.
That’s why I don’t think this conversation should begin with:
“How much house should someone with my income buy?”
A better question is:
“What housing cost works with the life I want to live?”
Now we’re talking about your decision instead of somebody else’s rule.
Decide Before the Beautiful Kitchen Decides for You
This is one reason I like buyers to think through their comfortable range before we start touring homes.
It’s much easier to make a thoughtful decision at the kitchen table than while standing in the kitchen you’ve suddenly fallen in love with.
Once you’ve seen the bigger house, the gorgeous primary bathroom, or the backyard you’ve always wanted, it’s very easy to start negotiating with yourself.
“It’s only a little more.”
Sometimes spending more makes sense.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
But if we’ve already talked about the range where you feel comfortable, we have something useful to come back to.
Not because the number can never change. Because we understand why you chose it in the first place.
Think About What You’re Actually Paying More For
As we compare homes, I also like to ask what the additional money is buying.
More square footage?
A location that shortens your commute?
An extra bedroom you genuinely need?
A newer roof or major systems that may reduce near-term expenses?
A larger yard?
A beautiful finish that you like but could eventually change yourself?
Not every additional dollar delivers the same value to your life. This is where looking beyond the photographs and really thinking about how you’ll use the home becomes important.
Sometimes the smaller house gives you everything you actually need. Sometimes spending more gets you something that meaningfully improves everyday life.
The goal isn’t automatically to spend less.
It’s to understand what you’re getting for more.
Your First Home Has a Job to Do
Especially for first-time buyers, I think it’s helpful to remember that this house doesn’t have to accomplish everything.
It doesn’t have to be your forever home.
It doesn’t need every upgrade you’ve ever saved to a Pinterest board.
It needs to provide a comfortable place to live, fit reasonably within your financial life, and support what matters to you now.
Your first home is already a pretty significant milestone without asking it to be perfect.
Confidence Isn’t About Spending the Maximum—or the Minimum
I don’t want buyers to feel afraid to spend money on a home they love.
And I don’t want them stretching simply because a lender says they can.
I want them to understand the decision they’re making.
That’s really what confidence looks like to me.
We look at the numbers.
We talk about the home.
We consider the tradeoffs.
And we keep your actual life in the conversation.
Because buying a home shouldn’t mean putting everything else you enjoy about your life on hold. After all, the reason you’re buying the house is to live in it. And I think that deserves just as much consideration as the price on the listing.
A Milestone Worth Celebrating
Being able to buy a home is worth celebrating. Finding one that leaves room for dinners out, family trips, children’s activities, savings, quiet weekends, and all the ordinary things that make your life yours is even better.
The right budget isn’t necessarily the biggest one available to you.
It’s the one that lets you feel at home and keep living.
Continue Reading
Start with the complete first-time buyer guide:
Buying Your First Home: What You Need to Know Before You Start
Why the keys are only the beginning
Why Buying Your First Home Is About More Than Getting the Keys
The philosophy behind Life Happens Here
A House Is Where You Live. A Home Is Where Life Happens.
Meet the person behind the publication
Meet Bethany Mixson
Whenever you’re ready for your next milestone, I’ll be here to celebrate it with you.
Bethany Mixson
REALTOR® | ERA American Real Estate
Life Happens Here
Celebrating the milestones that make a house a home.
